The Nunavut Case
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: The territory of Nunavut is home to one of the most beautiful places in Canada. Sadly, it is home to one of the greatest atrocities that has ever hit recent Canadian history. And it is also home to one of the greatest contributors to global warming that has ever existed. Hence the territory's small population density.
1. Chapter 1

**After watching the pathetic ending for All Stars, a twisted idea occurred to I'll Cover Angel and Collins and she asked me to write this. And so here is what I came up with. If it's dark where you live, you might want to wait until dawn before reading this.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own **_**Total Drama**_**. Also, I've never been to Nunavut.**

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It was just a normal sunny day during the southern-Canadian midsummer. Canadians were busy engaging in everyday Canadian activities; particularly speaking like Americans, writing like Britons and doing everything else, depending on their individual personalities. With the occasional news worthy events, celebrations and atrocities aside, it was just a normal day for the average Canadian. That was until they looked up at the sky and witnessed something that they've never seen before. In fact, it was even something even the Americans, Chinese, Indians, Russians, Brazilians and Japanese have never seen before either. It was something no one on this whole planet has seen before in their entire lives.

Up in the air was a cluster of eight orange balloons; all of them big enough to fit a human being. This did in fact surprise the Canadians. Nevertheless, most of them shrugged it off and thought nothing of it. They assumed this all had something to do with Izzy. After all, ever since Izzy was born, the quantity of paranormal phenomenon has increased dramatically in every corner in Canada. The phenomenon have even caused every other country in the world to fear Canada; this has even caused every other planet in the universe to fear Planet Earth, but especially Canada. So there was practically no reason for the Canadians to fear an invasion or a large-scale manmade disaster.

However, what the Canadians did not realise was that Izzy has had nothing to do with the balloons. They did not even realise that inside those human-sized balloons were in fact human beings. This was what prevented the balloons from propelling into space. Instead, the balloons were heading north. The further north these balloons travelled, the colder the external conditions surrounding them became. Additionally, the external pressure declined. As a matter of fact, it declined to a point that by the time the balloons reached Baffin Island in Nunavut…

*POP*

*POP*

*POP*

*POP*

*POP*

*POP*

*POP*

*POP*

Courtney, Duncan, Jo, Lightning, Lindsay, Sam, Scott and Sierra fell a full mile and a half to the surface of the ocean. Obviously, to fall at such a velocity into the water would be like landing on concrete after falling from the CN Tower in Toronto. Nevertheless, as a consequence of cartoon logic, the only implication for the fall of the eight former _All Stars_ competitors was the sheer shock of falling into the frigid Hudson Bay waters.

"ARGH SHIT THIS IS FUCKING COLD!" Courtney shrieked.

"Tell me about it," Jo mumbled.

"Aw… I wanted to keep flying," Lindsay moaned.

"And end up in the even colder North Pole? Forget it!" Jo snorted.

"At least I still have my Codycam!" Sierra chirped.

"'Codycam', or CAMERON, is not here!" Scott rolled his eyes. "He was shot down along with Alejandro, Heather and Gwen so they'd be helpers for the Gary-Stu-Mary-Sue couple in the finale!"

"WHAT?!" shrieked Sierra. She did a headcount. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHERE'S MY CODYCAM!"

"Get over it, it's just Cameron!" Jo snapped.

"NO! I CAN NEVER GET OVER IT KNOWING THAT I MIGHT NEVER GET A CHANCE TO HAVE SEX WITH MY CODYCAM!" Sierra wailed.

"He doesn't like you! GET OVER IT!" Courtney shouted.

"Whoa, calm down princess," Duncan cut in.

Courtney punched Duncan in the face. "Don't ever call me that again! Not only are you a cheater but you are a writer's pet as well!"

"Hey, it's not my fault I make the fans go wild," Duncan glared.

"Yeah? Well just cos ya have half the _Total Drama_ fandom on Fan Fiction Net are objectifying you doesn't mean they all love you," Jo mused. "Now let's get on dry land quickly before we get hyperthermia!" she commanded.

"I don't see any dry land," Scott claimed.

"Uh, there's a dock a few metres from where we're situated…" Sam pointed towards a dock.

"Oh," said Scott.

"Seriously, did you just go full retard while I was gone?" Jo snickered. "I'm beginning to think even Lightning is smarter than you."

"Sha-LIGHTNING!" Everyone paused and turned to look towards Lightning, who was swimming away from the dock.

"Hold on to that thought for a minute," said Jo in monotone. "LIGHTNING! YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!" she shouted.

"NAW-UH! NOBODY TELLS THE SHA-LIGHTNING WHAT TO DO! SHA-LIGHTNING!" Lightning shouted back.

"Let's get him!" Courtney hissed at Jo. Jo nodded. The two swam after and caught up with Lightning. They grabbed him and dragged him all the way to the dock, followed closely by Sierra, Sam, Scott, Duncan and Lindsay. They all reached the dock within the next five minutes.

"Well, we're in Iqaluit now," Jo panted.

"What's Iqaluit?" Lindsay asked. "Are we in the Middle East?"

"We're still in Canada, Lindsiot," an annoyed Courtney corrected her. "Iqaluit is the capital and largest city of Nunavut."

"What's Nunavut?" asked Lindsay.

Courtney sighed relentlessly. "Nunavut is the largest yet least populous territory of all provinces and territories in Canada," she groaned.

"Oh," said Lindsay. "What is Canada again?" she asked.

Courtney face-palmed. "Forget it, Lindsay."

"Hey, I can't say I'd blame her for not knowing about Nunavut," Scott shrugged. "Nunavut is the most boring part of Canada. There's nothing up here."

"Excuse me, I've been to Nunavut four times in my life so far prior to going here," Courtney glared. "It's not boring."

"Yeah, but I bet you've been to other places more often," Duncan smirked.

"True, but can you blame me? There's only 30,000 people in an area the size of Western Europe," Courtney protested. "Let's just shut up and find somewhere warm to dry off."

And so the gang made their way through the town of Iqaluit, searching for a hotel or a B&B to stay in. None of them had any money on them, but they assumed that because they were on a popular TV show someone would pay for their stay.

The search for shelter was cut short, however, when the group noticed a putrid smell that made their stomachs want to vault out through their mouths. The smell was familiar too. In fact, they had to deal with that odour only half an hour ago.

"HEY GUYS!" Owen beamed, appearing from around a corner, having farted only a few seconds ago.

"OWEN!" everyone else responded. However, it was not a pleasant response. Courtney, Jo, Duncan, Scott, Sierra, Sam, Lightning and even Lindsay were glaring daggers at Owen.

"You bastard!" Courtney shouted at Owen.

"No, my parents were married before having me," Owen corrected her.

"Don't you correct me!" Courtney scolded at him. "We woke up and found ourselves trapped in oversized balloons that smell exactly like your farts you fat fuck!"

Owen was shocked and hurt by what Courtney said. "That's not very nice!" he gasped.

"Well tough!" Courtney glared. "You trapped us in confined spaces that smell worse than a dead corpse covered in shit and you quite possibly drugged us beforehand yet you still expect us to be fucking nice to you?!" she screamed.

"Chris said he'd give me a chocolate bar if I did that!" Owen protested.

"Seriously? Over a bar?" Duncan sneered. "Why couldn't you just go shoplifting like I normally do so you could have all the bars you want? You have no excuse for putting us through Hell! We're no longer friends."

"I was hungry!" Owen wailed.

"You're **always** hungry, Owen!" glared Jo.

"C'mon, let's go to the police," said Sierra. "Let's teach him a lesson." Everyone except Owen was in agreement and headed off to go find the local police station. Owen began to panic. He was too young to go to jail.

"WAIT!" he shrieked, but none of his former friends were going to change their minds. Left without any other option, Owen jumped and landed on the ground in ball position. He proceeded to roll towards the group and run them over, knocking all eight of them unconscious. He stood up, picked up their bodies, stuffed them in his pants and headed home.

There was no way Owen was going to let them abandon him.

No way whatsoever.

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**And that concludes chapter one. Next chapter should be up later this month.**

**Until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is my second update for the day. I figured I needed to update this story before I forget about it. I love the reviews I'm getting so far. Anyway…**

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Courtney woke up to find herself surrounded by darkness. She also sensed that she wasn't lying on the floor. As soon as she moved, she realised she was bound to the wall by chains.

"Hello?!" Courtney called out.

No response came. Courtney decided to try again.

"Is there anybody there?!"

Courtney heard coughing. She sighed in relief.

"Uh, man, I felt like I've been in Owen's pants or something," a familiar sounding voice spluttered.

Courtney gasped. "I knew it! This has something to do with Owen, doesn't it?!"

"Courtney, is that you?" Jo asked.

"Yes, it is me, Jo," Courtney assured her. "And you're chained up! All I know is that we are somewhere in Nunavut! At Owen has got something to do with this!"

"Wait a minute…" Jo paused to think. "Owen! Last thing I remember before blacking out was us trying to report that fucker to the police!"

"That bastard! He chained us up in here!" Courtney scoffed.

"Uh… can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to sleep," groaned Scott.

"This is no time to sleep, Scott, this is a time to panic," Jo told him. "Owen is kidnapped us!"

"Wait… am I blind?!" Scott shrieked.

"No, you retard; either the lights are off or there are no lights down here!" Courtney scowled.

"But there's no evidence that I'm not blind," Scott told her. He paused for a moment. "Wait, I'm not talking to you!"

"I did offer to take you with me to the final two, didn't I?!" Courtney screamed at him.

"You drew a rat tail on me!" Scott screamed back.

"So let me get this straight," said Jo. "Courtney tolerates you, becomes your girlfriend and plans to take you with her to the finale. But you get pissed off with her just because she drew you a rat tail?"

"Yes," Scott smiled, "yes I did."

Jo rolled her eyes. "Okay, you have officially become Lightning Lite. Congratulations," she sneered.

"Is it cos I'm white you racist bitch?!" Scott scowled.

"I take it back," Jo deadpanned. "You have officially become Lightning #2."

"She meant you are a dumbass, but not so much a dumbass as Lightning," Duncan told Scott.

"Oh," said Scott.

"Wait, did you just wake up?" Courtney asked Duncan.

"No thanks to the princess, the Sue Sylvester wannabe and the redneck," Duncan sneered.

"I'd rather be a Sue Sylvester wannabe than a writer's pet any day," Jo retorted. "By the way, you've had the most pathetic reason to be eliminated. You destroyed Chris's cottage-"

"Mansion," Courtney corrected Jo.

"-mansion just so people would think you're badass?" Jo sneered. "Being insecure about what people think of you makes you the biggest pussy in the world."

"Fuck you!" Duncan scowled. "I'm sure you would've done the same if your rep was on the line!"

"I don't care about my rep," Jo shrugged. "I don't give a shit if people hate me. The only opinion about myself that matters is that of my own. By the way, nobody likes a jerk. If you want people to continue liking you, maybe you should stop caring about your rep and stop being an ass."

"Hey get tones of letters from people all over the world saying they want to get in my pants!" Duncan scowled.

"So? Just cos someone wants to shift you doesn't mean they like you," Jo explained. "They only like your body. Only a tiny fraction of your fanbase actually give a shit about your soul, or at least don't hate it."

"Yeah? Well fuck you!" Duncan scowled.

"Now I no longer care that he cheated on me with Gwen back in _World Tour_," Courtney smirked. "In fact, dating a loser like him is the perfect karma," she added.

"You still deserved it," said Scott. "Not only did you draw me a rat tail, you also cheated on me with Cameron!"

"I NEVER KISSED CAMERON! THAT MAL BASTARD SHOVED HIM ONTO ME AND HIS LIPS FELL ON MINE!" screamed Courtney.

"Yeah right," Scott snickered.

"WELL GUESS WHAT!" Courtney roared. "I ONLY DATED YOU JUST TO PISS DUNCAN OFF AND TEASE CHRIS, WHO ACTUALLY KNEW I WAS ONLY **PRETENDING** TO DATE YOU! SO YOU CAN TAKE YOUR BROEKN HEART AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

"Yeah… well… you look like a Mexican Dora the Explore!" Scott retaliated.

"Dora is Mexican," Duncan rolled his eyes.

"She's definitely a Latina, but it has not been stated if she's Mexican, Spanish, Argentinian, Colombian, Cuban or belonging to any other nationality," said Sam, who woke up a few minutes ago.

"And I also look nothing like Dora!" Courtney added. "Do all Latinas look the same to you?!"

"What's a Latina?" Lindsay asked. "And why is everything black?

"Sha-Lightning can't see! Sha-Lightning can't see! Sha-LIGHTNING!" Lightning panicked.

"We're locked in some sort of dark chamber because of Owen!" Jo told them.

"Actually, we're in a secret chamber in Owen's basement," said Sierra. "The chamber is accessed through a heavy door hidden behind the furnace and it can only accessed by typing in a four-digit code. The door is synchronised with Owen's smartphone and he doesn't have a backup, so if he gets a new phone, we're fucked."

"Even if he doesn't get a new phone, we're still going to be fucked," Duncan argued. "He'll probably come in here every three days to molest us or something."

"Actually, the only person Owen would shift is Justin," said Sierra.

"Okay, how did you know you all this?" Jo questioned.

"I've been to his house lots of times," Sierra replied, "all of them when no one was home. Did you know that the code needed to open this door is 1234; the same code he uses for his luggage, burglar alarm, bike lock, safe and padlock for his locker when he was in secondary school?"

"Knowing Owen, that doesn't surprise me," said Sam.

"And his password for his computer, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Google +, Yahoo, Flickr, Fan Fiction Net, Deviant Art and banking accounts is Owen1234," Sierra added.

"You'd better not know my codes and passwords," Courtney threatened. "If I find out you do, I will have to kill you."

"The only reason I know all that is because Owen has it all written on every wall in his house," Sierra assured her. "I'm surprised nobody has broken into his house or hacked his accounts yet."

"There's a reason for this," said Duncan, "and that is Owen. Not even the most desperate people in the world excluding Justin would want anything to do with Owen."

All of a sudden, there was a beeping noise coming from outside. Followed by the sound of a heavy door opening and light spilling into the room. The victims discovered that they were all naked.

"Ah! Snakes!" screeched Lindsay, after seeing Duncan, Lightning, Sam and Scott's crotches.

The lights came on, revealing the walls of the dungeon to be of an ugly shade of grey. The walls and the ceiling met at a rounded point to add to the sinister nature of the dungeon.

"Hey guys!" Owen chirped as he walked in.

"Don't 'hey guys' us!" Courtney snarled at Owen.

"What did I do?!" Owen asked.

"You've imprisoned us, duh!" Jo scowled, rolling her eyes.

"How did you get us all in here anyway?" Sam asked.

"I stuffed you all in the back of my pants," said Owen. "It's got plenty of room from all of the times I used to shit in it."

"You just had to ask him, didn't you Sam?" Duncan rolled his eyes.

"So Owen, how about you let us go!" Jo commanded.

"I'm afraid I cannot do that," said Owen.

"And why is that?" Jo glared.

"Because then you guys will leave me! I want us to be friends forever!" shrieked Owen.

"Fuck you!" snarled Courtney, trying to kick Owen. However, her leg was apprehended by the chain attached to her ankle.

"Here's your food," said Owen, tossing a bowl of soup on the floor. The bowl shattered to pieces and the contents poured out. "Eat up. I'll check on you guys tomorrow." With that, Owen turned off the lights and closed the door behind him.

"Asshole," everybody mumbled in unison.

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**So what did you guys think? Anyway, while we're on the topic of Owen, I just had five slices of pizza and three slices of garlic bread from Domino's. That sure motivated me to write this chapter.**

**Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so far this winter break I have not been very consistent with my updates, though I'm usually not. I plan to have thirty updates/one-shots before I go back to college. After this week I will only have one week left yet I'm not even halfway through to reaching my goal. I could turn around and blame my new Nexus 7 that I got for Christmas, but even if I got something boring for Christmas it wouldn't have changed anything. I was just born to procrastinate. Despite this, I'm going to try and reach my goal.**

**So anyway, there is an unexpected twist towards the end of this chapter. Have fun.**

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The next day Owen returned to the dungeon to bring his captives some breakfast. Needless to say, his captives were not appreciative of this.

"Okay, how are we supposed to open this box of Special K when we are chained to the freaking wall?!" Jo demanded. "And that cereal is for people with health problems!" she added.

"I brought spoons," said Owen.

"How does that help?!" Sam demanded. "I miss my precious Dakotazoid!" He burst into tears.

"Aw, don't cry," Owen begged. "I brought in the TV! See?" He left the dungeon for a second and returned with an old 70's styled telly. Owen plugged it in through a socket below Lightning's feet. Owen turned it on and switched it over to the channel with all of the baby shows.

"NO! WE DON'T WANT TO WATCH THAT!" Courtney shrieked. "Change it over!"

"Sorry," Owen laughed. "It has 1,000 channels, but funny thing is, I don't know how to change the channel. Heh-heh."

"You bastard!" Duncan hissed.

"I'm not a bastard," Owen stated matter-of-factly. "My parents married before I was born."

"Look it up on the dictionary," Sierra rolled her eyes.

"Maybe you should look 'stalker' up on the dictionary when you get the chance," Scott smirked.

"Owen, will you kick Scott in the balls for me?" Sierra asked.

"I don't know how Scott and I could fit in a football," said Owen. Everyone rolled their eyes at Owen's stupidity.

"Just get us out of here!" Jo commanded.

"Sorry, but I don't remember what I did with the keys," Owen replied.

"You… WHAT?!" Duncan scowled.

"Wait, do you need keys to unlock these things?" Owen scratched his head.

"Great; we're gonna die here," Scott rolled his eyes.

"WHAT?! Lightning ain't gonna die here! Lightning will never die! Sha-LIGHTNING!" Lightning boasted.

"So you'd rather stay trapped in here for all eternity suffering from hunger, thirst, fatigue and a need a piss than be trapped her for three days, considering that Owen has yet to give us any water and is unlikely to anytime soon?" Courtney rolled her eyes.

"Does that mean we are going to die in an hour?!" Lindsay gasped. "That's too long! There are three days in an hour, right?" she asked.

"Guys, Owen has left," Sierra interrupted.

"And he's left the TV on at full volume and brightness," Sam added.

"That piece of shit," Duncan added.

"_We are happy characters,_

"_On a baby's show!_

"_We tell dirty jokes all the time,_

"_That only the parents know!_

"_We sing about drugs and sex and war_

"_And racism and murders!_

"_But all you little brats will perceive_

"_Are colours and letters and numbers!"_ sang the jolly, furry, colourful characters on the telly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" shrieked Courtney, Duncan, Jo, Lindsay, Sam, Sierra and Scott in unison.

"SH!" Lightning hushed. "Lightning is trying to learn sha-colours, sha-letters and sha-numbers here!"

* * *

A few torturous hours of listing to the frightening dialogue emerging from the telly later, the door opened. A figure that looked nothing like Owen entered the room and removed the plug from the socket. Sierra, Scott, Sam, Lindsay, Jo, Duncan and Courtney all sighed in relief.

"Hey, whaddya did that sha-for?!" Lightning demanded. "Sha-Lightning was trying to learn the sha-colours, sha-letters and sha-numbers! Sha-LIGHTNING!"

"Okay, you do realise that all of these shows are about are cute, furry animals that talk about drugs, sex, war, bigotry, terrorism, murder and many other types of shit, right?" Noah rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, just let us out!" Courtney ushered.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Noah deadpanned.

"Why not?!" Courtney demanded.

"Do you guys know why I became friends with Owen in _Total Drama World Tour_?" Noah asked.

"So you'd become a writer's pet like me?" Duncan asked.

"Being a fan fiction author's pet is good enough for me," Noah replied in a bored tone. "Besides, considering the countless continuity errors and a certain rushed pairing" – Noah paused to glare at Courtney and Scott – "I'd prefer to stick with having my canon potential wasted," he added.

"So you'd get further that season?" Scott asked.

"Well, that is actually one benefit that came with being with Owen," Noah admitted. "I ended up lasting ten episodes longer than I was expecting. But that's not the reason I'm looking for."

"You wanted to use him for something bad, didn't you?" Courtney glared.

"Bingo," Noah mused.

"What are you going to do with us?" Sierra asked. "How did I not figure this out?"

"To answer question number one: you'll see," said Noah. "To answer question number two: a mad scientist never reveals his secrets. I'll see you guys tomorrow. By the way, I've left some bottles of water where the mains is. I have the chains programmed to let you guys go in a few minutes. That way ye can freely move about this room and use the en-suite toilet. Have fun finding the water in the dark without knocking over the TV." With a smirk, Noah walked out of the room and closed the door shut.

The lights went out.

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**Dun! Dun! Dun! So now we know what is really happening. Only I know what is going to happen next. So stay tuned for that.**

**Until next time!**


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